Not So Super Mom

Sometimes I have an overwhelming sense that I need to be everything to everyone. I need to be happy so my family isn't sad. I don't have time to be sick. Depression? Are you kidding me? Who has the time for that? I sure don't.

But what happens when I'm not so happy, when I feel a little down and feel a little sick? Well, I'm a mom, so I grin and bear it until it passes. Sometimes I'll lean on my husband for support or call my mom. Some days I feel like super woman and a mental patient all rolled into one.



My mind is telling me one thing and my heart is saying another. When my children struggle, my thoughts automatically turn to the negative. The question, How did I screw this kid up?, has crossed my mind more than a few times. Also, my mom's ever annoying words "I can't wait until you have one JUST LIKE YOU!" Are always nagging me in the background. Some days I feel like the fact that I did get one "just like me" is a curse...or is it?



The other day I called my mom about an issue with my sweet, yet, not-so-sweet little boy. I was telling her (more like sobbing to her...haha) how my sweet little boy seems to be so angry. I remember when I was about his age I had definite RAGE issues! I was pissed at the world and hated just about everyone. I was in daycare for a short time and I remember throwing chairs and even stabbing a mentally handicapped girl in the back with a pencil....YIKES! I was a wretched child to say the very least. At the same time, I feel as though I had every right to be angry. My parents were divorced and my dad was re-marrying. My life was a mess, what kid wouldn't be a little pissed off? I explained how my son has a stable home life, we sit at the dinner table every night and talk about our day, we do things together, we laugh together. His life is perfect compared to mine at his age. What does HE have to be so angry about?

Well ,what are moms for but the perfect words just when you need them! My mom said one thing that really stuck with me. She explained that God sends us children that need us the most. What a thought! She also said that instead of blaming myself and feeling like a terrible parent, I should try to see the positive. What exactly is the positive? Heavenly Father blessed me with an angry child because I was once angry too. I know exactly how he feels, even if our lives were and are so different. I know what it feels like to RAGE and not know exactly why. I know what it feels like to throw a chair across the room, completely lose it and the next second wonder why I'm being punished. I know sadness. I know the feeling of rejection, loneliness and heartbreak. Who on this earth could take care of this little spirit better than me? I really needed to hear these words to lift my spirit this week. To be honest, it made me feel empowered and made me feel like I can fight another day. Thanks Mom! I was hoping this could help some of my mommy friends out there to feel empowered too. When you're having a rough day, remember the little spirits that come into our lives, come into our lives for a purpose. It's pretty hard to remember this on our hardest days as parents, however, He never gives us anything we can't handle!