Stupid Things People Say

My husband Jacob and I have a long standing joke that we have had throughout the course of our marriage. For some reason, people just stay the stupidest stuff to us and we couldn't figure it out for the longest time. Maybe the times they were said to us we were extra sensitive but I'm not sure. Jacob always tells me that we should write a book of all the stupid things people have said to us...I'm sure it would be a best seller! Just for laughs here are a few things that people have randomly said to either one of us or both of us and our real responses vs. what we were thinking in our heads. Hope this makes you smile :)

While speaking to a family member after just being married maybe about 6 months or so I said "the hardest part of our marriage is keeping our house clean."
The response: "That's because you don't communicate!" (in a rude tone)
Our reply: A short confused awkward chuckle
Our thoughts: We thought it was because we were communicating too much :)

While pregnant with my son and walking down the hallway at work
"What's up Chunky?"
The response: Once again, a short confused awkward chuckle
My thoughts: Not much...Ugly! (I'm so rude...sorry)

When telling the same person above I was pregnant with my daughter she said:
"I thought you wanted to lose some weight first?"
The response: Well, you're right, I did. But things happen I guess.
My thoughts: I remember a few explitives in my brain at the time and a little embarrassment. But it was true so what could I do...right?

While visit teaching a woman in our first ward in Bountiful she was quizzing me on where Jacob and I were from and so on and so forth...one comment caught me off guard though, here is how the conversation went:
"What is your last name?"
"It's Maughan."
"Oh, my daughter married a Maughan"
"Oh, interesting."
"She is in New York at law school and she didn't like the name Maughan so she kept her own name, she thought it sounded more professional."
"Well, um...that's great for her."
My Thoughts: WTF lady? What is your problem? SERIOUSLY? I'm standing right here. And now I'm supposed to stay here and give you a spiritual and thought provoking message. I just wanted to bail!

Jacob used to have a random bump on the side of his face that grew under the skin next to his ear while he was on his mission. Strange I know. But it never bothered him and one of his doctors told him it was probably just a cyst and he should get it checked out. Well, we put it off for a long while...but one day while at work Jacob was managing and one of his employees came up to him started touching the bump and asked him in a rude manner "What's wrong with your face?"
The response: "I'm not really sure."
Her response: "Well, it's weird, you should get that checked out."
The next response: "K, thanks"
His thoughts: Why do people find it necessary to not only ask me what is wrong with my face but also to touch my face? Have you not heard of a personal bubble, it's 5 ft. in diameter...HELLO? oh, and what's wrong with your face?
(oh and Jacob did get it removed...no biggy:)

Well there are a lot more but those are probably the best and funniest ones. At least we can have a sense of humor about it now...hmmm...maybe we should write a book? Not a bad thought babe!


A little off subject I know but I have to share:

And finally, something funny my son said while standing in line at the gas station. The checker was quite rude just grabbing our stuff and scanning it with a mad look on her face.
Riley: "mom? is she mad?" (with a mad look on his face)
me: "No, shhh" (a little embarrassed)
Riley: "is she happy?" (with a HUGE smile on his face)
me: "No, shhh"
Riley: "is she sad?" (frowning while he spoke)
me: "No, shhh" (laughing a little)
Needless to say it was so funny the checker couldn't help but warm right up and ask Riley what his name was and how old he was. I think she knew she was not being very nice. Aren't kids the best? They can make some of the worst situations into the best situations. I adore him :) I hope he made her day, cuz' he sure makes mine!